Lord, have mercy.


This week has been heavy for me.

And I’m not going to sugar coat it. Adjusting to a new place, community, and work while being separated from loved ones is hard enough, without a global pandemic, political unrest, and the threat of fires.

In many ways, my life may look like I have completely moved on, but I am still grieving. I think that’s the right word for it.

While I am safe, others are not. The places I love are on fire. The people I love are being displaced. They’re struggling to breathe.

My heart is with three communities, my current home in Atlanta, my home where my parents live, and the home of my undergraduate university, where most of my friends and mentors are.

____________________________

If you are experiencing grief, it is an appropriate and healthy emotion, a very human emotion. It’s okay to grieve and you needn’t justify that to anyone.

It’s okay to acknowledge that everything is not okay and still do normal things.

No one has the right to tell you if you are allowed to grieve or not or if you should grieve or not. That’s bullshit in the most technical sense of the term.

Neither does anyone have the right to tell you how to grieve or for how long. That’s bullshit too.

____________________________

West Coast, I may not be there in person, but I love you. I’m praying for you. I’m grieving with you. I’m holding you in the light.

Lord, have mercy.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

an impromptu trip to florida

I'm rarely spontaneous, but when I am, I like to think I do it well. I went to Florida this weekend.  On Thursday evening, I realized that I was ahead on Homework (for probably the first time in my life) and decided to go to the beach, something I had been thinking about doing since I knew I was coming to Georgia. I did some research and found a hotel right on the beach for a decent price for the next day. After hastily making reservations, I made a plan.  That plan included printed map quest directions, because who can rely on cell service?  I did use those directions, and ironically enough, I was lost as soon as I left my driveway--I forgot which way was South. That's what happens when you forget to have Google tell you where to go and are also talking with your spiritual director via bluetooth. Anyway....after making a circle around my neighborhood, I finally found a highway that I thought was going south. It was only later that I realized it was the right one. I guess...
Read more

an eye-opening encounter with a deluge

Today I felt alive, more alive than I have in a long time.  This afternoon, I headed out to explore a small lake (or a big pond?) that borders campus and the walking trails that surround it. I found my way with little trouble. It was beautiful, sunny even. I watched a swan dwell among the reeds as I sat by a little waterfall to journal. I watched dirt swirl in the water and leaves blow across the surface of the water.  On my journey home, the clouds that had been lurking all day burst. Now, if there's one thing about Georgia that's different from Oregon, it's the deluges that come out of seemingly nowhere. Ten minutes of rain can cause a street to flood and double the size of a creek.  Needless to say, it started raining while I was nearly two miles from home. I donned my raincoat and my waterproof backpack and picked up my speed. Five minutes later, it was downpouring and the streets were flooding. The skies had lowered and had brought a kind of darkness with them. ...
Read more

back to school

this is the beginning of my 22nd year of school. wow.  i've spent more time studying and learning in my life than anything else. i still overcommit. i still sign up for too many classes. i still buy too many books. and i still love shopping for school supplies. i mean, who can resist those sparkly planners that are unmarked? color-coding must release some kind of dopamine, because i really love it.  this year, i want school to work for me. i want to focus my studies on what interests me most. i want to prioritize my health. i want to enjoy my days. i hope to make an attempt at having a sleep schedule and maybe keep my room clean?  the older i get, the more i want to enjoy my life. my tendency is to plan the wonder and adventure out of my life. and while i will never stop planning, i think i can let myself breathe a little more, after all, i know what i'm doing.   so here's to another school year. 
Read more