FaithFull Living

 pain is:               -messy               -comes in inconvenient moments               -disregards my emotions               -everywhere, nowhere, and in that one place               -sits with me all night               -lightning in my body               -unseen inflammation               -hungry for more of me   -the desire to crawl in a hole   -feeling like bare minimum requires everything               -feeling like i haven’t done enough               -the inability to do any more               -an unmet expectation               -plans that get rescheduled               -days without income               -a furrowed brow               -a clenched jaw               -a gasp               -tears that won’t come               -until i can’t imagine my future without it               -a reminder that i am still alive

When was the last time you dreamed? I’m not talking about the dreams that flash across your mind as you sleep, but the dreams with potential to take you places in your awake life.  I’ve always had dreams and goals, but recently, I’ve been trying to purposely stretch that muscle. Every morning, I write five dreams, little or big. I got the idea from Mel Robbins. It’s interesting to watch my dreams change day by day. I get to see which ones repeat themselves, and what seems to be passing fantasy. When I see the ones that come up over and over, then I know that those are the ones I want to take action on.  Go, try it. Write down 5 dreams that you have today. See how it shapes your day.  Keep dreaming, my friends. 

Every year, I pick a word as a kind of marker, a thing to grow into and learn about. I never thought I would choose the word chaos, yet here I am. Chaos holds mystery, power, and potential. It's an invitation to be flexible and accept change. It's leading me to try new things, change my mind, go on last minute adventures, and enjoy all the colorful things in my life.  I suspect that the embrace of chaos may just lead me to peace within myself. I definitely hope it leads to a more tangible sense of playfulness and exploration. So, here's to 2023, and all the chaos it will bring. 

This week has been heavy for me. And I’m not going to sugar coat it. Adjusting to a new place, community, and work while being separated from loved ones is hard enough, without a global pandemic, political unrest, and the threat of fires. In many ways, my life may look like I have completely moved on, but I am still grieving. I think that’s the right word for it. While I am safe, others are not. The places I love are on fire. The people I love are being displaced. They’re struggling to breathe. My heart is with three communities, my current home in Atlanta, my home where my parents live, and the home of my undergraduate university, where most of my friends and mentors are. ____________________________ If you are experiencing grief, it is an appropriate and healthy emotion, a very human emotion. It’s okay to grieve and you needn’t justify that to anyone. It’s okay to acknowledge that everything is not okay and still do normal things. No one has the right to tell you if y

I'm rarely spontaneous, but when I am, I like to think I do it well. I went to Florida this weekend.  On Thursday evening, I realized that I was ahead on Homework (for probably the first time in my life) and decided to go to the beach, something I had been thinking about doing since I knew I was coming to Georgia. I did some research and found a hotel right on the beach for a decent price for the next day. After hastily making reservations, I made a plan.  That plan included printed map quest directions, because who can rely on cell service?  I did use those directions, and ironically enough, I was lost as soon as I left my driveway--I forgot which way was South. That's what happens when you forget to have Google tell you where to go and are also talking with your spiritual director via bluetooth. Anyway....after making a circle around my neighborhood, I finally found a highway that I thought was going south. It was only later that I realized it was the right one. I guess somet

I am slowly acclimating to my Georgia home and my new ID reflects this reality. Sometimes I imagine I'm still in Oregon, only not with my parents. If it weren't for the 8-lane freeways, it might be a little easier. At any rate, I simply cannot grasp how far I've come.  This week I learned the Cardinal Directions from my house and where my grocery stores are. Also, that cockroaches are a thing and that they FLY--ew. You know, basics. I've also learned how to navigate the area enough to be able to find my way home without GPS in many cases, or to argue with my GPS in others.  Today I climbed Stone Mountain, which for all my Oregonians, isn't really a mountain at all; it's a Butte. A granite Butte. Apparently, it is the most visited site in Georgia and it isn't far from my house. It's famous for a 360° view of the Atlanta area, and a particularly good view of the Atlanta city skyline. It's kind of overwhelming to suddenly be face-to-face with your new h